It's no longer.

人家说长大好，但我却一点这样的感觉也没有。
或许过去太快乐了，跟现在比起来，真有天渊之别。:(

我好累好累，我可以放弃吗？我可以都不管吗？
我可以不要那么负责任马？我可以当你不存在吗？
我可以做个叛逆的学生吗？我可以坚持我的信念吗？
为什么这么累？为什么好难过？为什么就是没人懂？

Shall speak and write more chinese now. Can't believe I threw my 3 marks away for exceeding words limit and lost my A. And yet again, why is this A so important? Sigh.
Examinations are just reassurances. It tells you if you're there, or you're way too lazy that you need to study harder. And once we set targets for ourselves, we realised 'being there' is never easy. Because we always set higher targets, (because everybody says set your goals @ 120%, because that's how you get your 100%). But do we even achieve that 100%? Usually not the case, especially for me.

I grew tired of this.
I can't believe it.
Something I once love has caused so much of unhappiness within me.
I hate the fact that I can't bring myself to work under pressure. The rebellious side of me is surfacing.
I hate the fact that the things I once repeatedly scolded others for, has become my own offence.
I hate the fact that I'm lousy. 我的好胜心跑到哪里去了？原来是我放弃了。
I hate the fact that I don't know who I am in there, it doesn't feel like me anymore. I can't even be myself.
Tell me I'm just not adaptable. Tell me I'm just too stressed and tired.
Tell me this won't go on, because I'm going to break down very soon.
I can't believe I actually felt like crying when you actually asked me "what's wrong? you're not your usual self.", and thank god I held back.


PW everyday.
Can I just forget it and get a C or something?
But the perfectionist within just won't let me do it.
And what's more, they are like my juniors, so playful.
It always seem like I'm the one who's nervous, who's anxious, who's working damn hard and taking all the initiatives. Why? Aren't you guys afraid?

Where do I find the time to exercise my fingers now?
Answer me.


My parents wonder why.
Me too.


Lugging this heavy laptop everywhere I go everyday.
THIS IS FREAKING HEAVY.
D:


12days, I don't want it to come.

BUTTERFLIES IN TUMMY!

SHINGZ is the new word after BOOMZ.
Invented by Ris Low. LOL.

---

PROMOS RESULTS OUT LATER!
FREAKING NERVOUS NOW.
I WANT ALL OF US TO PROMOTE, PLEASEEEEE.

&

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY EUGENE POH & CALEB! :D

Deepavali

:o

These few days are so mundane and restless! :(

Don't feel the joy after exams anymore, maybe 'cos there's still OP, there's still results(it's about promotion!) to worry about and memeks still preparing hard for their O's.



But anyway, life has been quite fulfilling too. C:
Celebrated Joey's belated birthday at Vivo, caught Surrogates and played with bubbles!
Laughed our hearts out at Toys r us. hahaha.
Met ahchoo and atika after that, had window shopping and all.
$$$$$!


:(



(updated from draft)

Everything is so weird.

While everybody has something to chase after in their lives, I realised I don't.
All I am doing is just to do well what I'm currently, and that's all.
Quite pathetic huh? Nothing to keep me focused on. Tried but failed. It always swirls and turns and change that I don't know where I'm heading towards. :(


GSC later, last paper of promos.
Hopefully I'll feel a lil happier. :o
Been so restless the whole weekend, tried to study chinese but I lose focus in a span of 5minutes. How fast?
No more motivation already, don't know what to keep me going anymore. :( boo.


It feels kind of empty, kind of lonely, kind of helpless.
Need some fresh oxygen to keep it going, don't want to feel this way anymore.


25days.
Don't feel that naive happiness anymore. :(
Ah, save me.

didn't feel any sense of satisfaction or happiness after promos.
studied damn hard but still on the verge of collapsing.
my dear classmates were all so upset.
"retain" is the first word that came out from many of their mouths.
phoebe even said "youjing you shall be my ogl next year man".
NO WAY.

I don't want marshall to go back to india.
I don't want to see phoebe not sitting in my class, pressing the phone whole day.
I don't want to see charlotte missing from the class.
I know yappy and joey will pull through.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU RETAINING.
okay I may end up retaining myself. -_-

but.

I don't know.
I don't feel happy at all.



:(



We'll hope for the best okay?
Hold on tight guys, we'll pull through!
You guys will be kept in prayers, I know your God will help you. (:

THIS IS IT!

PROMOS TOMORROW.



To hell with it!
So gonna own it like nobody's business! >:E




Shit, I'm still stucked within 10.3km/s. :(
Teach me how.

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Herstory

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MISS YU

Born on 6 November '92 in Shanghai, virgin trip on the airplane at the age of 3 when she moved to Singapore. First language was Shanghainese. Only child thanks to the one child policy back then. Sang in the Choir in Primary School, played the alto saxophone in the military band in Secondary School, then the tenor saxophone in the concert band in Junior College. Currently majoring in Linguistics & Multilingual Studies in NTU. Part time Beauty Advisor for Lancôme Paris. Tutor for Primary & Secondary School students.
Learnt some basic design sketching(fashion), yoga and modern jazz - and loved them. Loves travelling, beauty stuff, food, photography and languages. Learning 日本語, Française & la lingua italiana. Wants to learn German and play the cello.

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